Just when I thought I had it up to my eyeballs.
Parenting a child with special needs is a daily, emotional, daunting, exhausting experience. Some days, even weeks go by without skipping a beat and I do all the things without thinking. Others weeks? Not so much.
The past few weeks have been a roller coaster for sure. I have hung on desperately while being hurled upside down and turned inside out. By Sunday I was convinced that not a single person on the entire universe around me knew or cared. I was feeling vastly overwhelmed, unseen and forgotten as a special needs parent.
Along with being a Benny mom, it felt like I was supposed to be everywhere for every event, and be everything for everyone. This is a fantastic way to crash and burn quickly. It all begins in my mind when I allow PLOM (Poor Lil’ Ole Me) thoughts to surface then expand swiftly like a mushroom after a warm spring rain.
Then it happened…
A dear friend walked up to me on Sunday with a gift bag. I controlled myself and strained every nerve and muscle to not grab it and skittle about like a squirrel dashing to and fro with a prized nut. I love receiving gifts. Unashamedly so. They are marvelous in all their crackly tissue paper wonder and glory! Gifts can make my day every single time! Inside I found relaxing bath bombs and even more soothing were slippers to warm in the microwave!
I treasure these thoughtful and kind gifts, but even more, I deeply appreciate the beautiful heart behind it. Suddenly I felt blessed, loved and empowered. I could keep going and face another week for sure.
How did such a little act of kindness help so much? Let me tell you.
Special needs parenting is a ride like none other. Without going into great detail, just believe it. Please? Thank you. As I use these bath bombs and warm those slippers, and read and reread the card with the beautiful words, this is what I hear:
- I see you, special needs mama.
- You are not forgotten.
- I understand that it is hard and I am praying for you.
- You are not alone, I am here.
- Call me anytime, mama.
- You never have to put on a brave face for me, I can handle it, just tell me. (whoa now that is what I call a friend.) I am queen of putting on a brave face!
Do You Know A Special Needs Mama? Is She Also A Mom of More Littles?
No matter how brave she appears to be or how put together her life seems, (highly unlikely she actually has her ducks in a row, but just in case), she can use a friend to come along beside her. Everyone is different, and for me it wouldn’t work to have someone come and visit when I am by myself with my Benny. But maybe that person you know, would love for you to come and chat.
The most important thing is to ensure that special needs parents know they are seen, heard, and not forgotten. The possibilities of what you can do to reach out are endless.
Let’s get started!
- Get their grocery list and shop for them
- Give an insta-cart gift card
- A doordash gift card
- Restaurant gift cards are a lifesaver, (speaking from experience.)
- Order take out and have it delivered to them
- Send flowers just because
- Text them to let them know you thought of them today!
- Bring a gift bag to church like my friend did, and load it down with caring, thoughtful items.
- For the family with other little children, go get their laundry and take it home and wash, dry, fold, and iron if anything needs ironed.
- Bake homemade bread or cookies and bless them.
- When I had school age children, aside from Benny, I appreciated so much when someone offered to pick up my girls so they could participate in field trips! Special needs siblings are unsung heroes and sacrifice so much!
So many ways to show you care. Don’t ever assume that they are ok! Most days they will be alright, but many more are the days they do not get to experience okay. And this goes for anyone in need, not just special needs parents.
I challenge anyone reading this to do something caring and kind to someone in need. Anyone! Special needs parents or any hurting person, they are everywhere. You never know when you are a lifeline, saving your friends from falling into deep despair like my friend did that Sunday. Do it. Today. God Bless!
Have you read For the Love of Benny? Walk with me and travel the road of the ups and downs, the hilarious and the serious moments of our journey with our sweet Benny!
