“He Ain’t Heavy, he’s my Bubby!”
I, as Benny’s mom, may be the nurse, the advocate, the lioness and the mother bear that roars at the slightest infraction against my Bubby. I may be the one that changes 50 million diapers a day, okay, not quite that many. I may be the one that has run tube feed after tube feed, through Benny’s hungry tummy daily. I fetch for Benny 24/7. I do laundry, ironing, cooking; I chauffer, clean, and keep up the bookwork for our business. I may or may not have earned my very own medical degree just by being Benny’s mom.
Cough.
Not to toot my own horn but…I am nothing short of astounding. 🙂
Enter Daddy.
Otherwise known as hero, champion, Olympic medalist in daddy-love, Benny’s Daddy is the real deal. He is the big cheese. The cream of the crop. Is anyone getting the picture here? Daddy is a hero, a daddy, and a friend. This is how all daddies should be. Especially special needs fathers.
I see you there, Daddy, bracing all your muscles and carrying Benny around on your back, because, you know, “He ain’t heavy…”
I see Benny’s daddy make daily sacrifices to ensure stability and provision for his family. I see him work extra hard because of the expenses we incur on account of Benny. I see him as father/son weekends come around and he watches wistfully as he gets left behind since it isn’t practical to tote a wheelchair into the wilderness. I notice that he doesn’t complain.
I know that Daddy gives up his own dreams and goals in order to better serve Benny. Hunting, horseback riding, fishing, auctions, and traveling are hobbies abandoned for the time being. They are left behind because there is no money or time left at the end of the day, not to mention energy.
I see how Daddy, instead, created an awesome throne for Benny so that they together can go on bike trails. Benny’s giggles are contagious and the joy surrounding them makes all other bikers smile and laugh.
I have seen that Daddy’s devotions consist of listening to the Bible on his twenty-minute drive to and from work. Why so, you ask? Because Benny has feelers. He senses anyone up and about. Every morning at 5:30 am, Benny gets up and straight to the bathtub. If we get up at 4:30, Benny does too. Please note that this is not a peaceful or quiet time! Benny is alive and kicking the minute his eyes open.
Dear Lord, make me like Benny when I wake up. 🙂
Yeah, well, we haven’t tried 3:30 am yet. Give us a break!
Special needs dads are profound.
They have feelings and hurts just like us moms. It is all processed differently, but it is there. You will rarely hear these daddies complain or despair. They are a strong lot, ever ready for the next challenge.
They need encouragement.
Special needs dads need a whack on the shoulder, telling them you notice their sacrificial life. They need to hear that they are an awesome dad, raising an awesome kid that is blessed beyond measure for the love and devotion poured on him and his siblings.
He needs to know that he is an incredible guy to steadfastly keep going amidst the drama-filled, chaotic, exhausting, wonderful journey he is called to travel. He needs to be commended for his commitment.
Do you know a special needs dad somewhere on the ride of his life? Please don’t let him go unnoticed and forgotten!
Encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.
1 Thessalonians 5:14
