If I could do one thing to help special needs parents, I would magically change the medical supply company frustrations from our lives. I will be bravely honest and admit that I have clenched my teeth, let out a loud oomph now and then, had a complete meltdown or two, and cried bitter, frustrated tears at the injustices served to me by these companies.
I have spent hours on hold in the last few months. This is not stretching the truth by one iota, it is actually being generous. Just last week I spent exactly 46 minutes on hold to explain to them that they sent all the same flavor meals. All 90 packets were Orange Chicken, Carrots and Rice. This is a wonderful healthy meal, but three of these a day? I don’t care for Benny to turn an orange tint! This was after spending hours on hold the previous month, ordering four different flavors. So back on hold I went, to correct the order. The new order came yesterday. Every. Single. Packet…all 90 of them… was Orange Chicken, Carrots and Rice. Insert adult tears of complete denial and frustration.
And so this is why, in the recesses of my heart, when the grace is difficult to find, and I don’t feel the virtue of patience, that the retaliatory visions were awakened…in my
First, I would make them sit on hold for at least an hour (which is being generous). While they are sitting there, with sweaty ear syndrome, they would be famished, thirsty, and need to use the bathroom. I would further magnify their pain by inserting a screaming child at their feet. The child would have a poopy diaper of the utmost gregariously smelling proportions. The child would be hungry, need to be suctioned, tube fed, nose wiped, drool wiped, and meds pushed through whatever line they may have. The husband and other adult children would not be around to help. Because, you know, jobs.
The washer signal would start going off 2 minutes into the hold, and it would not stop
To move away from the one spot in the entire house that does not lose calls, would mean to lose the call completely. (True story where we live.)
The beloved family dog would need let out for a bowel movement, and end up going inside the house. The smell would be fantastic.
Then, 50 minutes into this amazing hold, the mailman would come honking down the lane. He’s got a box, and no amount of ignoring him would alleviate the horn blaring to
As the phone is reattached to said perspiring ear, the place in line was not lost. Whew! However, the dog barks to announce the arrival of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Also gone are all your marbles. No more marbles in your bag, mama, they are all gone away! Plop, plop, plop, one medical/insurance hold at a time and you are a marble-deficient human. Have yourself a giant Snickers candy bar! You will need the stamina it provides for the next hold you will be put on which will bring another whole onslaught of wild, surprising adventures to experience! The only thing not shocking will be the amount of time you spend on hold.
Been there, done that…DONE. So done.
Dear Benny, despite the trials of being on hold, you are still awesome. Thank you for being so full of love and for bringing us so much joy, happiness and laughter! You are well worth the time and sacrifice.
